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CONFLICT RESOLUTION:

DO

1. Describe the other person's behavior objectively.

2. Use concrete terms.

3. Describe a specified time, place, and frequency of the disagreeable action.

4. Describe the action, not the motive.

 

DONíT

1. Describe your emotional reaction.

2. Use abstract, vague terms.

3. Generalize for 'all time'.

4. Guess another's motives or goals.

Cl: J. Benshoof 09/96


 

LIST OF FEELINGS THAT PERSONS HAVE BUT OFTEN FAIL TO IDENTIFY:



ABANDONED, DESPAIR, HAPPY, NUTTY, SNEAKY,

ADEQUATE, DESTRUCTIVE, HATE, OBNOXIOUS, SOLEMN,

ADAMANT, DETERMINED, HEAVENLY, OBSESSED, SORROW,

AGONY, DIFFERENT, HELPFUL, ODD, SPITEFUL,

ALMIGHTY, DIFFIDENT, HELPLESS, OPPOSED, STARTLED

AMBIVALENT DIMINISHED HIGH OUTRAGED STINGY,

ANGRY, DISCONTENTED, HOMESICK, OVERWHELMED, STRANDED,

ANNOYED, DISTRACTED, HONORED, PAIN, STUFFED

ANXIOUS DISTRAUGHT HORRIBLE PANICKED STUPID,

APATHETIC, DISTURBED, HURT, PEACEFUL, STUNNED,

ASTOUNDED, DOMINATED, HYSTERICAL, PERSECUTED, STUPEFIED,

AWED, DIVIDED, IGNORED, PETRIFIED, SUFFERING,

BAD, DUBIOUS, IMMORTAL, PITY, SURE,

BEAUTIFUL, EAGER, IMPOSED-UPON, PLEASANT, SYMPATHETIC,

BETRAYED, ECSTATIC, IMPRESSED, PLEASED, TALKATIVE,

BITTER, ELECTRIFIED, INFATUATED, PRECARIOUS, TEMPTED,

BLISSFUL, EMPTY, INFURIATED, PRESSURED, TENACIOUS,

BOLD, ENCHANTED, INSPIRED, PRETTY, TENUOUS,

BORED, ENERGETIC, INTIMIDATED, PRIM, TENSE,

BRAVE, ENJOY, ISOLATED, PRISSY, TENTATIVE,

BURDENED, ENVIOUS, JEALOUSLY, PROUD, TERRIBLE,

CALM, EVIL, JOYOUS, QUARRELSOME, TERRIFIED,

CAPABLE, EXASPERATED, JUMPY, QUEER, THREATENED,

CAPTIVATED, FASCINATED, KIND, RAGE, TIRED,

CHALLENGED, FAUNING, KEEN, REFRESHED, THWARTED,

CHARMED, FEARFUL, LACONIC, REJECTED, TRAPPED,

CHEATED, FLUSTERED, LAZY, RELAXED, TROUBLED,

CHEERFUL, FOOLISH, LECHEROUS, RELIEVED, UGLY,

CHILDISH, FRANTIC, LEFT OUT, REMORSE, UNEASY,

CLEVER, FRUSTRATED, LICENTIOUS, RESTLESS, UNSETTLED,

COMBATIVE, FRIGHTENED, LONELY, REVERENT, VIOLENT,

COMPETITIVE, FREE, LONGING, REWARDED, VEHEMENT,

CONDEMNED, FULL, LOVING, RIGHTEOUS, VITAL,

CONFUSED, FURY, LOW, SAD, VULNERABLE,

CONSPICUOUS, GAY, LUSTFUL, SATED, VIVACIOUS,

CONTENTED, GLAD, MAD, SATISFIED, MIMCKED,

CONTRITE, GOOD, MAUDLIN, SCARED, WONDERFUL,

CRUEL, GRATIFIED, MEAN, SCREWED UP, WEEPY,

CRUSHED, GREEDY, MELANCHOLY, SERVILE, WORRY,

CULPABLE, GRIEF, MISERABLE, SETTLED, ZANY,

DECEITFUL, GROOVY, MYSTICAL, SEXY,

DEFEATED, GUILTY, NAUGHTY, SHOCKED,

DELIGHTED, GULLIBLE, NERVOUS, SILLY,

DESIROUS, HAPPY, NICE, SKEPTICAL